I know this must be hard but at some point you have to hold others accountable for their behavior and their choices. It appears that some people may take your love for weakness and disregard the truth. Not that they aren't deserving of receiving your love, it may means you have to stop babying them in the process. Which would certainly lead to them using you as a crutch instead of a motivator. If any of our brothers or sisters are caught in any transgression, it is our responsibility to restore them. We shouldn't be so quick to neglect what others are going through, still encourage AND hold them accountable for their character traits. In the mist of holding them accountable you will have to operate in tough love. There will be some moments you will have to stand your ground and not back down from the truth of the situation. Try not to focus on the results, rather what actions and decisions lead to the results. Be accountable for you. Hold others accountable for them. Give them some tough love and put some walking shoes on them, instead of putting a pacifier in their mouths and carrying them around on your hip, offer them some tough love and teach them how to carry their own loads, instead of carrying their loads for them, show them some tough love and become a mediator, instead of playing favoritism, and last but not least...display some tough love.
P.S. I LOVE TOUGH LOVE
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