It is freezing here in Chicago!! Schools has been closed for the past two days, which allowed me some me time. Although I was off work my husband had to still clock in. I was able to really spend sometime with myself. Its not often I am able to focus solely on me. I was still amazed on how much I am still learning about myself. I was faced with an astonishing fact that I finally admitted to on yesterday. I was thinking about how I was going to continue to workout even in the cold months...And I looked in the mirror and tears filled my eyes and the first thought that came to mind was WHY? Why-was it so important for me to stay on top of working out, Why-am I obsessed with eating healthy and make sure I don't eat this...or don't eat that, not to have too much of this...why I need to run more...why I need to tone this more...why why why????? The truth... to accept myself so that others can accept me. All my life I had been creating an image that others thought was normal...Whatever that is...I was trying to erase the thoughts of my childhood, delete the judgement that I allowed others to build then tear down. My forehead is too big, my cheeks are too big, my butt is too big, my shoulders are too broad, my feet are too fat and flat, my hands are too dark, my thighs are not toned enough, my stomach isn't flat enough....the list goes on and on. Truth of the matter is that some of these physical attributes never bothered me until it was given to me by others. After the tears I made a promised not to allow anyone to give me anything. Accept me for who I was created to be.. how am I able to accept and love others when its a struggle to accept and love myself???...to be continued
P.S. I NEED TO LOVE MYSELF
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